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The older I get, the more often I misplace my car keys.

Can the more senior among my readers tell me whether (a) is this part of the natural aging process, and it will get worse and worse until I can’t even remember my name, or (b) I’m just messy and can’t find anything.

I’m picking it’s (a) because I can always find pretty much everything else — it’s just the car keys that keep walking around and hiding when I’m looking for them. I’m sure they’re peeping out from behind somewhere snickering to themselves.

Update: The keys have been found. Finally. They were on the kitchen table, hiding under the tray on The Baby’s hi-chair. I guess (b) is the winner after all.

Another failure. 8 and 23. Not enough to save your career. I’m kind of happy about that. I know it’s totally unpatriotic, but I personally can’t wait to see the back of Matthew Hayden.

I don’t see how you can tell all and sundry that you’re a born again Christian and then go out on the pitch and sledge every opposing batsman with one of the worst gutter mouths in the history of the game.

Sledging is part of the modern game, but when you cross from humorous quips to gutter-mouth insults you’ve gone too far — and Hayden has a reputation for being one of the worst offenders. Choosing when you’re going to be a good Christian person and when you’re going to be a rude and obnoxious bogan doesn’t work for me. That’s just not cricket.

Having said that, I love some of the classic funny examples of sledging from the Wikipedia article:

Hughes was bowling to Pakistan batsman Javed Miandad, who informed the overweight bowler he looked like “a fat bus conductor”. The very next ball, Hughes bowled Miandad, screaming “tickets please!” as he ran to celebrate with team mates.

Another involving the great Viv Richards:

The great West Indian batsman Viv Richards was notorious for punishing bowlers that dared to sledge him. So much so, that many opposing captains banned their players from the practice. However in an English county game, one bowler attempted to sledge him after he had played and missed at four balls in a row. He told Richards: “the ball is round and red and weighs about six ounces, why don’t you try and hit it?” The next delivery was hammered by Richards straight to the fence for four. He quickly replied: “You know what it looks like, now go and f—ing find it.”

This was the last episode of Life* to screen this year. We have to wait until 4th February for S02E13. And that is going to suck. Given the events in the last two minutes of S02E12, that’s a long, long wait. Damn.

(* Best. TV. Series. Evar.)

Actually, make that four:

Me/Lisa >  Fred > Fred’s Doctor > Fred’s Doctor’s Wife > The late and sadly missed Freddy Mercury.

Yesterday, The Kid got to spend a few hours on the back of a CFA truck delivering lollies to the kids in the area.

We went to see a friend of mine who lives at East Warburton; he’s in the Reefton CFA, and their truck went out to deliver lollies to the kids. The Kid had a great time, as did all the kids we visited.

Lisa went out for a few hours today, so I’ve been looking after the kids. As soon as Toddler went to sleep The Kid and I started playing Monopoly.

Two-and-a-half hours later I was bankrupt. Beaten by a 6 year old.

I am so totally crap.

http://www.HasTheLhcDestroyedTheEarth.com

Overnight traffic results:

• Police said one P-plate driver on a restricted passenger licence had four people in his car and returned an alcohol reading of .154.
• A 17-year-old learner driver had an alcohol reading of .142 when tested after he crashed his car into a brick wall in Mount Waverley, police said.
• Also, an 18-year-old learner driver who almost ran police off the road at Epping had seven passengers in his car, including two in the boot.

What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

This is good.